Hello all! I know I have not been very good about keeping up with the blog this year. It's been a rough year for sure, and I find that, that isn't something unique to our family. I am resolving to do better blogging in 2013, and I am also hopeful and optimistic that this new year will be great not only for my family but for yours as well.
I read a quote today that the past is just a pebble in your shoe, and I believe that's attributed to Edgar Allen Poe, but don't quote me on that. Anyway, this is how I will look at 2012. I can tell you that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and I do believe that God allows things to happen in our lives for a reason, and even though we may never know what that is, we come out refined.
2012 didn't start out too great. My Father in law passed in January of transitional cell carcinoma at the age of 61. He wasn't necessarily young, but he should have had a lot of years left with us. This loss was huge for our family, especially for my husband who was so close with his father. In May, I suffered a miscarriage, something I find is very common for a lot of women, but something that I had never been through before, and something which just added insult to injury with everything our family was going through with loss of FIL. Also that month my 30 year old cousin died unexpectedly of an undiagnosed heart issue.
In August we got some wonderful news as we found out that we were expecting again. I was afraid to get too excited or to announce the news after everything that had happened a few months earlier, but now I am happy to say that I am almost 23 weeks pregnant with a baby boy (who we will name after my FIL).
In late September my Mother in law came to stay with us for what was supposed to be a month. She sold her homes in Florida to move to New Jersey to be closer to us. The house search was not easy or speedy, and that was especially delayed by Hurricane Sandy which hit us in late October. We were very fortunate but many families in our community lost EVERYTHING! Finally in mid-December she closed on her new home. I love my Mother in law dearly, but I am not even sure I could survive having my own mother living with us for 11 weeks!
I cannot fail to mention the tragedy that happened at Sandy Hook Elementary School in CT. I will always remember where I was when I heard of this shooting. It stopped me in my tracks. I was not personally affected by this, but my heart couldn't help to break for these parents. My oldest is the same age as so many of the students who lost their lives that day. Still two weeks later, I can't turn on the news without shedding tears for these families. It certainly put everything in perspective for me, because like I said what happened to us this year was hard, but nothing in comparison to what these families must be going through. A parent should never have to bury a child, especially because they were at school were they were supposed to be safe. I only hope that something good can come about out of this tragedy.
So like I said, not necessarily the best year, but I know it could have been far worse. So there are only a few days left in this year, and I am optimistic and also hopeful that the new year will bring nothing but blessings for our family and for yours!
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Some things are just bittersweet
So we all know that life has ups& downs, valleys& peaks, and of course many comfortable in between places. I am a hopeful optimist, and can attribute this more to nurture than nature. I like to see the glass as half full even when my gaze is hazy. This year has been a HUGE rollercoaster in my life, and June didn't seem to give me many breaks from the ride. My father lost his job, and although I'd like to think that he is still very marketable (even in his 60's) I think the next few months may be a struggle for my parents. Kind of funny to be the child worrying about the parents, but I guess that is what happens as we continue through life and the paradigm tends to shift.
Many of you know that we suffered another loss at the beginning of June with my miscarriage. Miscarriages are something that happen to plenty of women, so I do realize that is not something unique to my life. For some people it's a very private grievance. For me, I am a momma of 2 healthy girls. I am so grateful for them. I had very easy pregnancies with them, and my only complaint was that they were both born full term. I never dreamed that I would have any issues with a third pregnancy. I had announced the pregnancy on twitter early because it was just so exciting to us, and a ray of sunshine after a very cloudy time in our lives.
Anyway, it has been very difficult for me to deal with this loss. I know that I will be okay. I guess time will heal all wounds. I am probably expecting myself to bounce back too soon, I know. Just like with any loss, I have days that I feel great, and then I have others that are very difficult for me. I try to keep things in perspective remembering all of the blessings in my life. People keep asking me if we will try again for the third, and I think it's too early to say. I am dealing with a lot of feelings like guilt especially because I feel like it was my fault for wanting a third when some people struggle to even have one.
What has been bittersweet for me the last few weeks is learning of all of the friends and family members who are expecting around the time that I was. My husband's cousin has gone through three miscarriages in the past few years, and has finally been blessed with a healthy pregnancy. She is due in January, a little after I would have been. She says if she has a boy she will name it after hubby's father who passed in January. I am so happy for her, but we too had planned on naming our "boy" should we have had one after my father in law. Then I have two former college roomates who are both expecting in January. I feel like although I am thrilled for them, my wound is still very raw.
Anyway, sorry to ramble. Guess I just needed to get my feelings out. I am blessed with a wonderful husband who is my best friend, but he is a man, and sometimes they just don't get it. I think it's hard for them sometimes because they just want to offer you a solution or a way to just "fix" it and in some situations like this, there is not quick fix.
Anyway if you are reading this....thank you!
Many of you know that we suffered another loss at the beginning of June with my miscarriage. Miscarriages are something that happen to plenty of women, so I do realize that is not something unique to my life. For some people it's a very private grievance. For me, I am a momma of 2 healthy girls. I am so grateful for them. I had very easy pregnancies with them, and my only complaint was that they were both born full term. I never dreamed that I would have any issues with a third pregnancy. I had announced the pregnancy on twitter early because it was just so exciting to us, and a ray of sunshine after a very cloudy time in our lives.
Anyway, it has been very difficult for me to deal with this loss. I know that I will be okay. I guess time will heal all wounds. I am probably expecting myself to bounce back too soon, I know. Just like with any loss, I have days that I feel great, and then I have others that are very difficult for me. I try to keep things in perspective remembering all of the blessings in my life. People keep asking me if we will try again for the third, and I think it's too early to say. I am dealing with a lot of feelings like guilt especially because I feel like it was my fault for wanting a third when some people struggle to even have one.
What has been bittersweet for me the last few weeks is learning of all of the friends and family members who are expecting around the time that I was. My husband's cousin has gone through three miscarriages in the past few years, and has finally been blessed with a healthy pregnancy. She is due in January, a little after I would have been. She says if she has a boy she will name it after hubby's father who passed in January. I am so happy for her, but we too had planned on naming our "boy" should we have had one after my father in law. Then I have two former college roomates who are both expecting in January. I feel like although I am thrilled for them, my wound is still very raw.
Anyway, sorry to ramble. Guess I just needed to get my feelings out. I am blessed with a wonderful husband who is my best friend, but he is a man, and sometimes they just don't get it. I think it's hard for them sometimes because they just want to offer you a solution or a way to just "fix" it and in some situations like this, there is not quick fix.
Anyway if you are reading this....thank you!
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Life as a rollercoaster
Many of you know that 2012 did not start out well for us. My father in law, my husband's dad and best friend, was taken from us by the monster of cancer in January. Then last month, my cousin Jonathan passed away unexpectedly at the age of 30 due to heart issues. In April we found out some good news. We were going to be parents again. We though this was our silver lining and blessing from God. This week we learned that this was not to be, when I went to my ob appointment only to find out that the baby no longer had a heartbeat. Had a D and C performed yesterday, and I think the emotional pain of everything has been far worse than anything physical. I am focusing on all of the blessings in my life, like my two healthy girls, but still hard to understand God's ways. I know that everything does work together for good in the end, but sometimes that is so hard to comprehend. Just waiting for our silver lining. Thank you to all for the continued thoughts and prayers.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Real Moms Real Reviews Kidsswimwear.com review and giveaway
I have subscribed to several blogs for years, but have just started doing blog giveaways.
Real Moms Real Reviews is an amazing blog, if you are not following it already.
I love hearing about products from a mom's point of view and these reviews are very authentic.
Today I came across this giveaway for adorable bathing suits from kidsswimwear.com
I don't know about you, but my girls and I live between the pool and beach in the summer, and we can never have enough suits.
These bathing suits are adorable and practical.
Please take the time to check this out!
http://realmomsrealviews.com/2012/04/09/let-them-get-wet-and-look-cute-doing-it-kidsswimwear-com-review-and-giveaway/comment-page-2/#comment-174717
Friday, March 16, 2012
Missing in Action-At least as far as blogging
Okay, so I realize...it's been MONTHS since my last blog entry! There are really no excuses. I can say that life has been busy, which I guess is true for us all. My husband reminded me that if I spent as much time blogging as I do twitter partying, I would probably have a very successful blog. So guess he has a point. Oh what a wise man, part of the reason I married him.
Speaking of marriage, hard to believe that my husband and I will be celebrating 10 years of marriage this summer. We had talked about going away on a cruise, but I am just not sure how that would work at this point. We live away from family, and there are very few people that I would even leave my children with. I have never left the girls more than over night. I guess I can just keep dreaming that I am on a beach somewhere, reclined in my chair, wind blowing in my hair, and fruit drink in hand! Agghh...who wouldn't love that?
The past few months have been crazy. My Father in law passed away in January, after a very brave battle with cancer. Cancer is one of those things that you never think much about until it effects you on a personal level. My FIL was diagnosed with transitional cell carcinoma (bladder/kidney cancer) a few years ago. We thought he had beaten it at one point, but guess that's the nature of cancer. You just never know. Anyway, my in-laws were able to visit us over the holidays, and my FIL was sick then, but guess it was nothing compared to mid-January. He just went downhill so quickly. It was such a blessing that my husband was able to take a few days off of work, and fly down to Florida to be present with his father for his dad's last few days. It has been such a loss for the family. My girls are only 3 and 6, so they don't really understand the impact of it. I am 33, and I have to admit that I have been very fortunate to have never have lost anyone close to me (other than my grandfather a few years ago). This man was my Father in Law, and I can honestly say that I loved him like my own father.
My husband has been having such a difficult time with this loss, but I guess he copes with things differently than I do. I am more of a talker. It makes me feel better to get my thoughts and feeling out there. Maybe men are different or maybe it's just a difference in personality. It's just been hard because a lot of times, I just feel shut out and don't really know how I can help.
So here I am rambling again, this blog is about my deals, steals, and meals and I am going to make a more diligent effort to get back on track with this subject matter since these are things that are of true importance to me.
It is St Patrick's Day weekend as I type this, and I am so looking forward to spending time with my family in Pennsylvania. I hope and pray that it will be a blessed weekend for all of you (if anyone is reading this!)
Speaking of marriage, hard to believe that my husband and I will be celebrating 10 years of marriage this summer. We had talked about going away on a cruise, but I am just not sure how that would work at this point. We live away from family, and there are very few people that I would even leave my children with. I have never left the girls more than over night. I guess I can just keep dreaming that I am on a beach somewhere, reclined in my chair, wind blowing in my hair, and fruit drink in hand! Agghh...who wouldn't love that?
The past few months have been crazy. My Father in law passed away in January, after a very brave battle with cancer. Cancer is one of those things that you never think much about until it effects you on a personal level. My FIL was diagnosed with transitional cell carcinoma (bladder/kidney cancer) a few years ago. We thought he had beaten it at one point, but guess that's the nature of cancer. You just never know. Anyway, my in-laws were able to visit us over the holidays, and my FIL was sick then, but guess it was nothing compared to mid-January. He just went downhill so quickly. It was such a blessing that my husband was able to take a few days off of work, and fly down to Florida to be present with his father for his dad's last few days. It has been such a loss for the family. My girls are only 3 and 6, so they don't really understand the impact of it. I am 33, and I have to admit that I have been very fortunate to have never have lost anyone close to me (other than my grandfather a few years ago). This man was my Father in Law, and I can honestly say that I loved him like my own father.
My husband has been having such a difficult time with this loss, but I guess he copes with things differently than I do. I am more of a talker. It makes me feel better to get my thoughts and feeling out there. Maybe men are different or maybe it's just a difference in personality. It's just been hard because a lot of times, I just feel shut out and don't really know how I can help.
So here I am rambling again, this blog is about my deals, steals, and meals and I am going to make a more diligent effort to get back on track with this subject matter since these are things that are of true importance to me.
It is St Patrick's Day weekend as I type this, and I am so looking forward to spending time with my family in Pennsylvania. I hope and pray that it will be a blessed weekend for all of you (if anyone is reading this!)
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