Some things are just bittersweet

So we all know that life has ups& downs, valleys& peaks, and of course many comfortable in between places. I am a hopeful optimist, and can attribute this more to nurture than nature. I like to see the glass as half full even when my gaze is hazy. This year has been a HUGE rollercoaster in my life, and June didn't seem to give me many breaks from the ride. My father lost his job, and although I'd like to think that he is still very marketable (even in his 60's) I think the next few months may be a struggle for my parents. Kind of funny to be the child worrying about the parents, but I guess that is what happens as we continue through life and the paradigm tends to shift.

Many of you know that we suffered another loss at the beginning of June with my miscarriage. Miscarriages are something that happen to plenty of women, so I do realize that is not something unique to my life. For some people it's a very private grievance. For me, I am a momma of 2 healthy girls. I am so grateful for them. I had very easy pregnancies with them, and my only complaint was that they were both born full term. I never dreamed that I would have any issues with a third pregnancy. I had announced the pregnancy on twitter early because it was just so exciting to us, and a ray of sunshine after a very cloudy time in our lives.

Anyway, it has been very difficult for me to deal with this loss. I know that I will be okay. I guess time will heal all wounds. I am probably expecting myself to bounce back too soon, I know. Just like with any loss, I have days that I feel great, and then I have others that are very difficult for me. I try to keep things in perspective remembering all of the blessings in my life. People keep asking me if we will try again for the third, and I think it's too early to say. I am dealing with a lot of feelings like guilt especially because I feel like it was my fault for wanting a third when some people struggle to even have one.

What has been bittersweet for me the last few weeks is learning of all of the friends and family members who are expecting around the time that I was. My husband's cousin has gone through three miscarriages in the past few years, and has finally been blessed with a healthy pregnancy. She is due in January, a little after I would have been. She says if she has a boy she will name it after hubby's father who passed in January. I am so happy for her, but we too had planned on naming our "boy" should we have had one after my father in law. Then I have two former college roomates who are both expecting in January. I feel like although I am thrilled for them, my wound is still very raw.

Anyway, sorry to ramble. Guess I just needed to get my feelings out. I am blessed with a wonderful husband who is my best friend, but he is a man, and sometimes they just don't get it. I think it's hard for them sometimes because they just want to offer you a solution or a way to just "fix" it and in some situations like this, there is not quick fix.

Anyway if you are reading this....thank you!

Life as a rollercoaster

Many of you know that 2012 did not start out well for us. My father in law, my husband's dad and best friend, was taken from us by the monster of cancer in January. Then last month, my cousin Jonathan passed away unexpectedly at the age of 30 due to heart issues. In April we found out some good news. We were going to be parents again. We though this was our silver lining and blessing from God. This week we learned that this was not to be, when I went to my ob appointment only to find out that the baby no longer had a heartbeat. Had a D and C performed yesterday, and I think the emotional pain of everything has been far worse than anything physical. I am focusing on all of the blessings in my life, like my two healthy girls, but still hard to understand God's ways. I know that everything does work together for good in the end, but sometimes that is so hard to comprehend. Just waiting for our silver lining. Thank you to all for the continued thoughts and prayers.

Real Moms Real Reviews Kidsswimwear.com review and giveaway

I have subscribed to several blogs for years, but have just started doing blog giveaways.

Real Moms Real Reviews is an amazing blog, if you are not following it already.

I love hearing about products from a mom's point of view and these reviews are very authentic.

Today I came across this giveaway for adorable bathing suits from kidsswimwear.com

I don't know about you, but my girls and I live between the pool and beach in the summer, and we can never have enough suits.

These bathing suits are adorable and practical.

Please take the time to check this out!

http://realmomsrealviews.com/2012/04/09/let-them-get-wet-and-look-cute-doing-it-kidsswimwear-com-review-and-giveaway/comment-page-2/#comment-174717

Missing in Action-At least as far as blogging

Okay, so I realize...it's been MONTHS since my last blog entry! There are really no excuses. I can say that life has been busy, which I guess is true for us all. My husband reminded me that if I spent as much time blogging as I do twitter partying, I would probably have a very successful blog. So guess he has a point. Oh what a wise man, part of the reason I married him.

Speaking of marriage, hard to believe that my husband and I will be celebrating 10 years of marriage this summer. We had talked about going away on a cruise, but I am just not sure how that would work at this point. We live away from family, and there are very few people that I would even leave my children with. I have never left the girls more than over night. I guess I can just keep dreaming that I am on a beach somewhere, reclined in my chair, wind blowing in my hair, and fruit drink in hand! Agghh...who wouldn't love that?

The past few months have been crazy. My Father in law passed away in January, after a very brave battle with cancer. Cancer is one of those things that you never think much about until it effects you on a personal level. My FIL was diagnosed with transitional cell carcinoma (bladder/kidney cancer) a few years ago. We thought he had beaten it at one point, but guess that's the nature of cancer. You just never know. Anyway, my in-laws were able to visit us over the holidays, and my FIL was sick then, but guess it was nothing compared to mid-January. He just went downhill so quickly. It was such a blessing that my husband was able to take a few days off of work, and fly down to Florida to be present with his father for his dad's last few days. It has been such a loss for the family. My girls are only 3 and 6, so they don't really understand the impact of it. I am 33, and I have to admit that I have been very fortunate to have never have lost anyone close to me (other than my grandfather a few years ago). This man was my Father in Law, and I can honestly say that I loved him like my own father.

My husband has been having such a difficult time with this loss, but I guess he copes with things differently than I do. I am more of a talker. It makes me feel better to get my thoughts and feeling out there. Maybe men are different or maybe it's just a difference in personality. It's just been hard because a lot of times, I just feel shut out and don't really know how I can help.

So here I am rambling again, this blog is about my deals, steals, and meals and I am going to make a more diligent effort to get back on track with this subject matter since these are things that are of true importance to me.

It is St Patrick's Day weekend as I type this, and I am so looking forward to spending time with my family in Pennsylvania. I hope and pray that it will be a blessed weekend for all of you (if anyone is reading this!)

the little things

It's been a few months since my last entry. Life has been crazy.
My oldest started kindergarten in September. How can that be? I can't believe that I can be old enough to have a school age child. She is doing really well though, and can't wait to go to school everyday.
My little one started preschool about mid-September. Wish I could say that she is loving it. She is having a hard time but we will keep trying. Breaks my heart, as I totally didn't expect her to have attachment issues.
My FIL still continues to battle stage 4 transitional cell carcinoma. It is hard to live so far away from family.  My in-laws hadn't seen the kids since May, so they were able to come up for a week. We had a great visit, but my FIL was having a hard time by the end as he was due for another treatment back in Fl. It has really made me re-evaluate life. When you sit and think about all of the things that bother you from day to day, you realize the brevity of life. What really matters? So much of the things we worry about are so superficial. Enjoy each moment, as you never know when it may be your last. Today I am most thankful for my family, my health, and for the little things (like this beautiful weather).

Old Navy Deal-going on now!

Not sure how long this deal is going to last, but Old Navy is giving you 10 dollars in Old Navy cash for every 20 dollars you spend. Today I went to my Old Navy, spent 40 dollars on back to school items for my oldest child (they have tons of cute things that are on sale, and polo tops were only 5 dollars). I got so many cute things, and have 20 dollars now that I can go back and spend starting the 25th! Smart shopping. ;)

easy summer cooking

Well if you know me, then it is not a surprise that summer is one of my favorite times of the year. "It's summertime and the living is easy"..well at least "easier" right? One of my favorite things about summer (aside from the beach and the pool) is how much easier it is to eat healthy. Especially here in the good old "garden state". In my own garden this year, I planted two different types of tomatoes and peppers. The tomatoes are not doing so hot (because I have a few rabbits that are enjoying eating them before I can get to them.) Have to work on that for next year. Still though, it is so wonderful to be able to enjoy fresh produce that is grown locally. My favorite of course would be corn on the cob.

There is nothing like the corn on the cob where I grew up in Central Pennsylvania. There was a local farm (which still stands today) where my mom always bought corn all summer. There is a table out front with a tin can and bushels of corn, and it works on the honesty policy. That is not something I see much anymore. Growing up my family was big into corn on the cob, and would have "corn roasts". There is nothing like corn in the husk that has been roasted to perfection in it's own husk, and then dressed in drawn butter and a little salt. Don't quite have corn like that here in Jersey, but have had some that is almost just as good.

All this being said, I find that cooking in the summer is so much easier for me. Love the grill and have a fabulous London broil recipe. It's amazing how the right marinade or rub, can transform any cut of meat. One of my "easiest" summer meals is London Broil, Mac N' Cheese, Corn on the cob, and sliced garden tomatoes. Because I promised "meals" in my blog here are the recipes:

London Broil Marinade:

1/2 cup soy sauce
1/4 cup oil
2 tbsp honey
2 tbsp vinegar
1 tsp ginger 1-2 cloves garlic



Martina's Mac and cheese:

4 tbsp butter
2 1/2 cup raw macaroni
8 oz shredded cheddar cheese
salt and pepper to taste
1 quart of whole milk

Melt butter in casserole dish in microwave until melted. Add macaroni and cheese, salt and pepper, mix well. Pour milk over the macaroni mixture (do not stir). Bake at 350 1 hour uncovered!


I hope that you will try them and then pass them a long if they become some of your favorites.